MURFREESBORO, Tenn. – In what can only be described as a slightly underwhelming criminal master plan, a 30-year-old Murfreesboro woman allegedly strolled out of Walmart on Memorial Boulevard last month with $99.87 worth of cosmetics—without paying for a single item. A loss prevention worker at the store noticed the woman’s stealthy walk as she strolled past all points of sale. It was at that point the worker promptly notified the police. The catch? After successfully executing her grand $99 escape, the woman was allowed to leave.

But fear not, justice seekers. She wasn’t entirely off the hook. The police kindly advised her that there’s this thing called a "warrants process," and she should probably turn herself in once the warrant was issued. You know, just in case she felt like coming clean, literally and figuratively.

This isn’t Murfreesboro’s first brush with shoplifting drama. Over the past five or six months, other sticky-fingered shoppers have made headlines too. One particularly ambitious individual waltzed out of Lowe’s with nearly $1,000 in home goods, while another set their sights on Target’s electronics and clothing departments, nabbing over $1,000 in goods there. Hobby Lobby wasn’t immune either, losing multiple craft items to a local DIY enthusiast with zero budget concerns. Let’s not forget the full-sized cabinet and some silver jewelry swiped from a store on Thompson Lane—because why not accessorize your home and yourself in one swift move?

On a broader scale, Tennessee has earned itself a cozy spot in the top ten list of states with the highest theft rates. With 1,620.9 theft cases per every 100,000 residents, the Volunteer State seems to be volunteering for some sticky situations. If Washington D.C. were a state, it’d steal (pun intended) the top spot, recording 2,783 larceny-theft cases per 100,000 people in 2022.

So, next time you’re out and about in Murfreesboro, keep an eye on your shopping cart—and maybe invest in a padlock for your lipstick.